A.I.

Have you seen A.I.? I myself am not a fan. Frankly, I find the idea of a child sized robot who is programmed to love pretty freaky (who would order that? Deviants and Cat Ladies? I mean, it doesn’t grow up! It just hangs around… loving… Weird.) and the whole Pinocchio idea is pretty strained. There are some very pretty shots and some gigantic plot holes in there too which are fun to pick apart, much like the robot demolition derby. Speaking of which, was that scene supposed to bother us? Are they suggesting that all robots have emotions and would thus hate to be destroyed? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure this computer isn’t much interested in its own ambitions. But I digress, here are the two things that really are great:

1. Teddy the Super Toy! Man, I would love a super toy. They’re so cool! Imagine having a little bear who could follow you around and have little chats with you and possibly watch your bags when you’re on vacation. I’d bring mine to work and teach him to staple things. Then I’d sit him on my lap and snuggle him as my day goes south. Maybe he could stroke my hair and say “only two days until the weekend…” Actually, the big plus would that he’d be like a dog you could take anywhere. I imagine having Teddy break would be very traumatic, though. When my beloved non robotic teddy bear, Sarah, finally had to be retired (her neck seam was so weak from hugging it couldn’t be properly resewn) I was sad for weeks. Fortunately, I have a lovely little spaniel who is probably even better than a supertoy. He’s definitely lasted more than a summer.

2. Sex Robots! Think of it: prostitution without the risk of disease, drug abuse, mean pimps, emotional trauma, etc. It could be clean and discreet. It would probably lose at least some of it’s taboo nature. I wonder what Charlie Sheen thinks? Plus, I think pretty much every woman and probably lots of men like the idea of a Jude Law sexbot. It boggles the mind. This furthers my suspicion that Futurama is the clearest vision of the future. We get computer technology and what do we do with it? Make humping USB dogs. I wonder if that’s a flaw in archaeology too. We tend to assume everything has a purpose when many things don’t beyond our own amusement.