I wish there were some sort of long distance flaming bag of poo service. You know, where you’d put a paper bag full of dog doo on neighborhood cranky old man’s porch and then light the top of the bag? Then when he’d stomp it out he’d get poo on his shoes.
I never did that as a child but now that I’m a vindictive adult, I do find myself returning to that idea. Something mostly harmless, but unpleasant. Something that sent a signal saying “we find your oppressive behavior so intolerable we felt we had no choice but to fill a paper bag with dog doo and set a match to it.”
Alas, most of the people I feel have earned such a treatment are out of comfortable driving range, so I’d need some sort of mail order service.
Any takers?
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