Growl List

I’m growlly. Very growlly. GRRRRRRRRR… I hate everything today. Here’s a list of things I hate most in the order that they occur to me:

1. Snails on berry bushes

2. People who litter

3. Cats that don’t like being touched

4. Summer Humidity

5. Stinging jellyfish on swimming beaches

6. Paper cuts

7. Running over slugs on your bike

8. Sand in your shoes despite not having been to the beach in months

9. Store clerks who argue with you about whether dollar coins are real money

10. Earwigs

11. Gristle

12. People who say “No Offense” and then insult you

13. Pond weeds that wrap around your legs when swimming

14. Women who “hover” and then don’t tidy the toilet seat

15. Animal neglect or cruelty

16. Having to wake up early for non-fun tasks

17. Listening to stories about people’s digestion or food sensitivities.

18. Tailgating (the traffic complaint, not barbeques)

19. Flat soda

20. Truck Nutz (puts me in the mood for “Truck Castration”)

21. When your nail breaks at the quick. Ouch!

22. Very short people who lean all the way back on airplanes

23. Blood blisters

24. Mosquito bites

25. PBS or NPR Pledge Drive Programming (“And now… a 62 hour long John Tesh concert!!")